Here's your sign

I've been having trouble sleeping for the past few weeks, so I do a lot of thinking while I'm laying in bed and not sleeping. Sometimes I think about the most absurd things, like going to Red Robin with spikes in the bottom of my shoes and puncturing the poor seat in the booth, or doing something crazy on youtube just so that Ellen Degeneres will invite me on her show since she seems to love youtube crazies so much. Anyways... last night the line "Here's your sign" from comedian Bill Engvall was running through my head. He's funny, I've grown up listening to him, and his "Here's your sign" is a valid point of people doing stupid things. Now we all know that I'm not the brightest box in the crayon, (but if crayon's were ranked on their funniness, I would definitely take first prize) so thinking about that phrase, I started thinking about things I have said or done that still make me laugh out loud when I think about them. Here are a few...


1). Hammertime: After a long night of games and pot-luck at my house, me and the gang were sitting downstairs just talking about anything and everything. Please don't ask me how we got on the subject of MC Hammertime, because I do not know the answer. All I know is that Dylan and Jeff started singing that song, and I blurt out "Stop, heppa-time." What is heppa-time? Obviously the wrong words to that song. Un momento de stupidity.


2). Tom & Jerry: One night me and Jeff-ray are at work, and he asks me "Carly, what is your favorite cartoon?" My immediate response: "Ben & Jerry!" Yes, that is a combined answer of watching the cartoon Tom & Jerry while eating the delicious Ben & Jerry ice cream. And this is a re-occuring incident with me, because just a few nights ago while I was quoting Baby Mama so professionally, I say "Ben and Jerry love each other! What show are you watching?" Wrong again Carly.

3). 10th Grade Photo Class: Jeff-ray (Yes, he is around when a lot of these happen) is wearing a stellar shirt, as always, and for some reason I suppose I was inspired to ask him about it. I couldn't see the shirt very clearly so this is what I ask: "What does your shirt mean in Japanese?" After a confused look, he glances at his shirt, stretches it so everyone who heard me can see what it is and he replies "Umm... these are two people dancing." I should clearly have my own sign I carry with me that says "Here's your sign."

4). 11th Grade Creative Writing Class: My most wonderful, favorite teacher of all time who has seen numerous of my so called 'blonde' moments is a fashionista. One day she's wearing this super stylish necklace, and I ask "Does your necklace mean something in another language?" (given my previous history with clothing... I should have known not to even ask) She looks down, laughs, looks at me and says "Carly, dear, those are fig leaves."

5). 12th Grade Lit Mag Class: Group discussion about the Chemistry teacher at our school who is from England. Someone is going off about how they made him upset everyday, blah blah blah, and how it was funny when he got mad because half of the time you couldn't understand him. I'm thinking I'm real smart with what I have thought of to say: "What happens when he swears at you in English?" The room busted up laughing, and yes while funny, I actually meant England English... not our native tongue.



Habib!

El Capitan

Boating for the first time this summer is always such a thrill. I can't move for the next three days, and my skin burns when I'm out in the sun, but it is so worth it. This little guy was such a trooper for his first time boating. And he loved riding the tube with his favorite aunt, me! Notice his nonchalant, laid back look? Yep, that's how he is most of the time.

So we all know how much I hate going anywhere without at least a little bit of make-up (I blame my almost white eyelashes and semi-blotchy skin occasionally) and normally I refuse to leave the house without a little som'in som'in, yeah? Well I woke up, washed my face, got in my suit and was ready to help. Just my luck, I got to run to the store to buy a bag of ice. And then I get all paranoid when I'm out, afraid to make eye contact with anyone, for fear of what they might think of the girl with no make up on. Anyways, I survived. Moral of the story: Life goes on.

I waddle now when I walk, especially after playing a double header last night in soccer, and my arms feel like I've been lifting weights for three days straight. I sleep like a rigid board at night because I'm sunburned, but riding the new tube and getting up on one ski was all worth it. (Note for further use- please keep your legs on the tube at all times as to avoid being pulled into the water). Overall it was an awesome day, and I had so much fun with the fam!

Just a side note- we all know how much I love diet coke, it was a full on obsession. I'm pulling back, and resisting. Gotta win a bet to lose 10 pounds first, olay! And as sad as parting was, I do give in and indulge every so often, as to keep our relationship at a healthy level.

Movie quote of the day: "Rainman did it and he was a ruh-tard." "A what?" "A ruh-tard!"